A break-down of who is involved in your big day and the duties they take on.

The best man

The groom’s biggest source of support will likely come from the best man, similar to what the maid of honour is to the bride. This could be anything from a best friend to a brother or a father. He will be on hand throughout the planning stages functioning as a fashion consultant, stag-do organiser and general helper of all things ‘wedding’.

On the day itself, he is the man everyone will depend on – keeping an eye on the ushers, paying suppliers, making sure the guests are happy and arguably, the most important duty, making his speech. If you decide against having a toastmaster, he could potentially take on this role as well.

Sunflower bridesmaids bouquet

The maid of honour/chief bridesmaid

Before the wedding, duties of the maid of honour mainly involve organising the bridesmaids’ activities, such as dress fittings, bridal showers and hen parties. On the wedding day, she or he will help the bride get ready, sign the marriage certificate as the bride’s witness and organise the bridesmaids for formal pictures. The maid of honour may also be invited to make a speech at the wedding reception, you also might want to ask them to visit wedding venues with you if your other half is unavailable at the time. The maid of honour and best man usually work quite closely together to make sure they give the couple the best wedding possible.

Flower girl/page boy

The flower girl is usually a younger member of the family such as a daughter, niece or goddaughter. They scatter petals down the aisle ensuring it’s ready for the brides arrival. For a young child it’s a big role to do, so you need to make sure that everyone makes them feel confident enough to take on the responsibility.

A page boy, also known as a ring bearer, usually carries a small cushion down the aisle which holds the wedding rings on top. A page boy would walk down the aisle along side or behind the flower girl(s).

The ushers

You can often see the ushers (also referred to as groomsmen) checking with the groom and best man to see what they can do to help. With roles like organising the guests, walking the bridesmaids down the aisle and sometimes being master of ceremonies, the ushers often bring a bit of fun and laughter to the proceedings. They keep the groom grounded and de-stressed and help the best man where they can.

How to ask your friends to be part of your wedding

Asking your friends or family members to be involved in your wedding should be an exciting experience, so after you’ve read up on how to choose your bridesmaids, we’ve listed a variety of ways to word popping the question to your potential wedding party…

  • I can’t say ‘I do’ without you! Will you be my bridesmaid?
  • Now it’s my turn to pop the question: will you be my bridesmaid?
  • I couldn’t tie the knot without you by my side. Will you be my bridesmaid?
  • I’ve got my guy, now I need my girls! Will you be my bridesmaid?
  • Please do me the honour, of being my maid of honour!
  • He’s marrying me, but he’s stuck with ‘us’ – will you be my bridesmaid?
  • Be my bridesmaid? Please say ‘I do’.

Top tip

Parents and grandparents of the bride and groom can also be important roles in the wedding party. If you are particularly close, why not give them some special jobs for the day to show them how important they are to your wedding? Asking for their help or inviting them to wedding activities in the planning process is a great way to bond and will make them feel involved.

Organising your wedding party: Harper’s top tips

Planning a wedding can be a stressful time and having your bridesmaids, best man and friends to support you will help – but here are some top tips to remember when it comes to keeping your wedding party cool, calm and organised.


Communicating what you want your wedding party to do is key. Meet with them regularly and discuss their jobs and responsibilities form the start.

Plan in advance

Remember, your wedding party will be coordinating their own lives too, so try not to spring anything on them at the last minute. If you need them to be somewhere or to do something specific, at a certain time or on a certain date, let them know in advance.

Be accommodating

If one of your bridesmaids feels uncomfortable with the choice of dress you’ve chosen them to wear or not everyone can make it to your destination hen party due to finances, try to be accommodating to their wishes where possible. A popular way to pick bridesmaids dresses that everyone feels comfortable in is to give your bridal party a particular colour (that goes with your colour scheme and décor) and they choose the style – that way everyone wins!

Don't let it get too much

Members of your wedding party are there to help you with all your plans, but not to run the ship. If things get a bit much in the planning process, take a step out (breathe!) and recuperate. Once you’re back to a healthy state of mind, get back to the planning and have fun with it!

Thank them

After all their hard work you’ll want to thank your wedding party once your big day has arrived. You might want to have ‘thank you gifts for the wedding party’  ready on the day to let them know how much you’ve appreciated their help.